Broken
by Boneslove1021
Summary: What happens now that Booth knows that Brennan loves him?
1. Chapter 1 Booth's POV

Well needless to say I was so broken hearted for Brennan in last night's episode. Emily is a great actress and she makes me feel her pain.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or any of the characters.

What happens now that Booth knows that Brennan loves him?

After dropping Bones at home I head home myself. My thoughts are filled with our conversation.

"I made a mistake...She died with regrets"

"Bones, everybody has regrets"

"I heard her you know...I got the signal Booth. I don't want to have any regrets"

"I'm with someone...Bones...and Hannah, she's not a consolation prize...I love her...You know, the last thing I want to do is hurt you but those are the facts"

"I understand...I missed my chance...my whole world turned upside down...I can adjust"

"I did"

"Yes you did"

I've never seen her so...broken? I guess that's the best way to describe her, broken. I told her Hannah's not a consolation prize and she isn't. She's a beautiful, smart, independent woman who wants to be with me. She wanted to be with me so badly she left her job and her nomad life to settle down with me in my life. That should make me the happiest man in the world. It should...but it doesn't.

I was happy with her. I was happy with her in Afghanistan. I was happy with her yesterday. I was even happy with her just a few hours ago. So, why am I unhappy now?

I know the answer; it's a rhetorical question. The answer is...because the only woman I've ever truly loved is broken. She's broken and it's because of me. No it's not entirely my fault. I asked her to give us a chance. To give us a shot but she turned me down. And it broke me. Oh I knew she wasn't ready. I knew that what I was asking her scared her. But I let that 12 year old convince me it was time. I gambled and I lost and it broke me. So I know how she feels. I know what it's like to be broken.

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	2. Chapter 2  Brennan's POV

Broken – Brennan's POV

I don't own them – Bones, the characters, none of them.

What does Brennan do now that Booth confirms he's moved on?

He just dropped me off at my apartment. I walk on in because I know he won't leave until I'm inside. He'll stay there and stare at me with his sad brown eyes feeling pity for me. I don't want his pity. I want him to love me. I keep reciting our conversation in my head.

"I made a mistake...She died with regrets"

"Bones, everybody has regrets"

"I heard her you know...I got the signal Booth. I don't want to have any regrets"

"I'm with someone ...Bones...and Hannah, she's not a consolation prize...I love her...You know, the last thing I want to do is hurt you but those are the facts"

"I understand...I missed my chance...my whole world turned upside down...I can adjust"

"I did"

"Yes you did"

I've never understood when someone said that they were broken after a rejection. I never understood until tonight. Now I realize that this must be what it means. This gut wrenching ache in the pit of my stomach, the whole I feel in my chest where my heart should be beating, could only mean that I am broken. Is this what he felt like that night on the steps of the Hoover? He said he had to move on. He told me he would, so why does it hurt so much that he did exactly that?

Once in my apartment I head for the shower. I know that just like the last three nights, I won't sleep. But it won't be because of Lauren tonight. It will be because almost a year ago I was foolish and scared and I make a mistake. I missed my chance. That's why once I'm redressed I head back to the lab. I'll finish the paperwork and lay Lauren to rest. I'll give the one person who wanted her to give him a chance some closure.

Back in the lab my thoughts return to Booth. Oh what he must think of me. I'm a poor excuse of a friend. I knew he loved Hannah. He'd said he did when we found the couple in that cave. Booth doesn't say something he doesn't mean. So what exactly did I think he was going to do when I told him how I felt? Is this going to ruin our friendship? What if he decides he can't be my friend because I have feelings for him and he's in a relationship? What if he doesn't want to be my partner anymore?

Oh no, what have I done? I have to get myself under control. Breathe Temperance. I send him a text message. "I'm sorry. Let's talk tomorrow. Please?"

Tomorrow I'll explain things. Tomorrow I'll tell him that I haven't slept in 3 days and I was tired that I let the case get into my head and play with my emotions. Tomorrow I'll make things better. I'll compartmentalize my feelings and I'll fix this, tomorrow.

My phone chirps with a message, "We'll talk tomorrow Bones. Good night."


	3. Chapter 3 The Story

Broken Chapter 3 – The Story – Booth's POV

Disclaimer: I still do not own Bones.

Yes I know why I'm not happy but what do I do about it? What happens tomorrow when the case is closed and Bones wakes up to realize that she's projecting the victim onto her own self, her own life? What happens if I tell Hannah I can't be with her anymore just to have Bones take back everything she said tonight?

Does it really matter? If I'm questioning it now, doesn't it mean the only reason I'm with Hannah is because Bones didn't want me? Isn't it wrong that I'm using Hannah? No it was never my intention to use her or hurt her but isn't that what I'm doing? She's great and she doesn't deserve to be second best.

I know what I need to do. The walk up stairs to my apartment is done in dread but also in hope. So although, I'll regret the hurt that I know I'll be seeing in Hannah's eyes when this conversation is done, I'll know that tomorrow we'll all be better off.

Bones doesn't believe in fate. She's said it more than once. But I do. I believe that fate brought us together seven years ago and I believe that fate brought us this case. To open her eyes to what she's got, her friends, her family, me. Because no matter what tomorrow holds for me and Bones. It will be me and Bones.

Just as I arrive at my door my phone chirps with a message, "I'm sorry. Let's talk tomorrow. Please?"

I smile, knowing tomorrow the talk will be much different.

I send my response, "We'll talk tomorrow Bones. Good night." And put the phone in my pocket as I open the door.

"Seeley, did you find her? Is she ok? Where is she now?"

"Yes Hannah, I found her. She's home safe and sound."

"Great. This case was so hard on her. Why was she so affected by it? I've never seen her so distraught over a case before."

"This case opened her eyes Hannah. It opened her eyes to her own life. This victim was like Bones in a lot of ways, a successful doctor, single, no children. She was very dedicated to her work, so much so that her personal life suffered from it. Bones recognized that in herself. Although, she failed to realize the fact that, unlike the victim she has friends who care about her, who would miss her if she disappeared."

"Absolutely we would. I haven't known Temperance for very long but I consider her a friend. I wouldn't like it if she were missing. Of course, I know you would be devastated if something happened to her, as would Parker."

"Yes, Parker would be heartbroken if Bones wasn't around anymore. And you're right my world would crash down around me if Bones were to die, which tells me there's something I need to talk to you about."

I sit on the sofa beside her but not close enough to touch.

"Ok. I'm listening."

"You know that Bones and I have been partners for a while, right?"

"Yes. 6 years, right?"

"Well, officially yes. But we worked a case together before that. At the end of that first case we had a huge argument and we didn't speak for a year."

"I don't like when you two argue."

"Yeah, I don't either. That first argument was really bad."

"I figured, since you didn't speak for a year."

"Right. Well, when I first met Bones, I was so amazed with her. She's so smart. She knows everything, you know"

"Yes, she's very smart, Seeley."

"Anyway, she was very smart but she was very infuriating too. I think during that first case I could have killed her if I wasn't afraid she'd kick my butt."

"Seeley, are you in love with Temperance?"

"What?"

"Just be honest. I'm a big girl, I can take it."

"Hannah. I don't want to hurt you. It was never my intention to drag you into my messy life. You see, last year before I went to Afghanistan, I asked Bones to give us a chance. To give us a shot, but she turned me down. It broke me and it scared her. I ran to a war zone and she ran to Maluku. Then I met you and God, you are so great. The time we've spent together has been wonderful. You helped me through the brokenness I felt from leaving my home, my son, Bones."

"Seeley, what has happened?"

"Hannah, tonight Bones told me that she regrets turning me down. She regrets she missed her chance with me."

"What did you say?"

"I told her I was with you. That you're not a consolation prize, that I love you."

"What did she say?"

"She said she understood. And I'm sure she does. But on the way home I couldn't get our conversation out of my mind. And I realized that although I love you, I'm not in-love with you. And I'm not being fair to you. You deserve for someone to put you first, above everything else. And I want to be that person, I really do. But I can't. You see, I gave my heart away a long time ago and I never really got it back. I'm sorry Hannah. Please don't hate me."

"I don't hate you Seeley. I guess I knew there was a story there but I was afraid to ask what it was. I'm just glad that you've told me before things got any messier than they already are. I'll get my things together and be out of your apartment in an hour."

"No, you stay as long as you need. I'll go stay with my brother for a while."

"Seeley, I think it's best if I go ahead and leave now. You've got some things to figure out I'm sure. Besides, it's not like I have a whole house of stuff to move. Everything I own fits in four duffel bags." They both smile, even though they are sad smiles.

"I don't want you to feel rushed out and homeless."

"I don't so don't worry about it. Just promise me that you'll fix things with Temperance before she changes her mind. Don't let her get away again. She's a lucky woman. You're a good man Seeley Booth."

"No, I'm the lucky one. I've been lucky enough to meet and love two very smart, beautiful, independent women. Thank you Hannah."

She moves to the bedroom to collect her things. She kisses my cheek as she walks out the door for the last time.

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	4. Chapter 4 Picking up the Pieces

Broken – Chapter 4 – Picking up the Broken Pieces

The next morning she's awakened by the buzz of the alarm clock. She groans and rolls over in bed. She's not ready to face the day yet. She'd only been in bed a few hours and only a couple of those hours were spent asleep. Most of the hours were spent thinking of Booth and the mess she'd made of their partnership and surely their friendship with her confession last night.

Now her thoughts are filled with how to convince Booth that what she said was only her tired mind confusing the emotions she was experiencing because of the case. How does she tell him she didn't really mean it when all she wants to do is explain again that she was wrong, that she made a mistake and that she loves him? The tears fill her eyes again. How can there be any more tears to cry after all that she shed last night?

"There's no use laying here Temperance. You're not going to go back to sleep. You may as well get dressed and ready for the day" she tells herself and as she drags her tired body to the bathroom. It feels good to have the hot water of the shower run over her tired and confused head.

Meanwhile, at the lab…..

Booth arrives at the Jeffersonian a little past 8 filled with hope and a little dread. He walks to the platform where he assumes he'll find Bones and the squint squad reviewing the case. He's glad this case is over. It's been really hard on Bones. As he approaches Cam, Angela and Hodgins all turn to look at him expectantly.

"Where's Bones?"

"Good morning Seeley. How are you today?"

"I'm fine Camille. How are you? Where's Bones?"

"She's not here yet. Do we have a case?"

Concern flows through his stomach, "Oh, she's not? Have you heard from her?"

"No we haven't. Is there a case?"

"No, no case, I just needed to talk to her a minute."

"Listen Booth, Bren took this case really hard. I'm not sure she's up to talking to you today." Angela said.

"I know she did Angela, believe me I know." He whispers.

"What does that mean?" she asked accusingly.

"Nothing, it's just, we've got some things to discuss."

"Well, now may not be a good time to discuss anything with her."

"Hey, I'm just going to go wait in her office. Maybe she'll be here soon." Ignoring Angela's remark.

"Ok. When she comes in I'll tell her your waiting for her." Cam said

"Thanks"

He walks into her office and sits on the couch. He's nervous and excited. Six years of waiting is finally about to be over.

She arrives at the lab to find the platform empty. Good, no new case it seems. At least she can get a few things cleaned off her desk before she heads to bone storage for the day. She walks into her office, removes her coat and sits at her desk, turning on the computer.

"Good morning Bones."

"Booth, you startled me!" she gasps

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to startle you. Are you alright?" He moves to stand in front of her desk. He can see the dark circles under her eyes, the worry etched in her facial features.

"Yes, I'm fine. How are you? Do we have a case?"

"No case. I'm good actually. I told you we would talk today so here I am."

"Booth, I really have a lot of work to do right now. Can we wait until later to talk?"

"No Bones, we've waited long enough. Six years to be exact. We have a lot to discuss and I don't want to wait another minute."

"Booth, the Jeffersonian is no place to have a personal conversation."

"Then let's get out of here and go somewhere we can talk personally."

"I just got here. I can't just up and leave again."

"Why did you just get here Bones? You're never late for work, where were you?"

"I overslept."

"You overslept? That's a first."

"No Booth, it's not a first. I've slept over before but really "slept" isn't an accurate term because I wasn't sleeping. As I told you and Hannah yesterday, I haven't been sleeping well and I was too tired to drag myself out of the bed when the alarm went off this morning."

"Did you not sleep last night after I dropped you off at home? I assumed that since you figured out what happened to Lauren that you would be able to rest better."

Her head dropped and her eyes were staring unfocused onto some papers on her desk. She can't tell him she couldn't rest because she was afraid she had ruined their friendship. "No. After you dropped me off at home I showered and came back here to finish up the paperwork on Lauren."

"You came back to the lab even though it was already so late? Bones! You were supposed to go to bed and rest."

"Booth, please just leave and let me get some work done." Her head is starting to throb; she reaches up and rubs her temples to try to ease some of the pressure.

"Nope, Bones, not going to happen. I told you we need to talk." He moves to the back of her desk and pulls her up by her elbow.

"Booth, let me go!" trying to remove her elbow from his hand.

"Nope." He reaches for her coat and purse as he pulls her out of her office. He's praying she doesn't kick his butt for touching her.

"Booth!" her protests are useless as he throws her coat over her shoulders and continues to propel her out of the lab.

They reach the passenger door of the SUV when she jerks around and snatches her elbow from his fingers. "Booth, I can't leave right now. I've got work to do." She tries one more time to convince him.

He runs his hand over the back of his neck, "Bones, please just get in the truck. We need to talk, you said so yourself last night when you sent me the text message. You know as well as I do that neither of us will be able to focus on work."

She sighs but climbs in. He gives her his charm smile as she settles herself in the seat. He closes the door and walks to the driver side and climbs in. Again he throws her a smile as he puts the SUV in reverse and backs out of the parking space.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere we can talk privately."

"Can you be more specific? That could be any number of places. We could really even do that here in the SUV."

"No Bones, we can't. The vehicle is no place to have a conversation like we are about to have."

"Then where are we going?"

"You'll see." He smiles again and returns his eyes to the road. They are going to the one place they've always been able to go to have serious conversations. Not to his place or hers because those are too private but to the place that is theirs.

"Oh." Was all she could say when he pulled up outside the Mall. She should have known he'd bring her here. This is the place they always come to when their partnership is strained. He parks the SUV and they exit, both headed to the bench beside the reflecting pool. They grab a coffee from the coffee cart and as they sit they both remember the time they sat here during the Gormogon case. When he said they were the center and the center must hold. These days it didn't seem like the center was holding very well.

She sips her coffee and looks at the water in the reflecting pool but she doesn't really see it. She can feel him looking at her. She clears her throat and turns to look at him. His eyes meet hers and they never waver.

"Booth, I'm sorry."

He cocks his eyebrow, "Sorry for what Bones?"

"I'm sorry about what I said last night. This case, it got to me. Lauren's life was a mirror of mine and I got too close and confused. Plus I was so tired, I still am, but I shouldn't have said those things to you. I know you're with Hannah now. You've moved on, you're happy and I'm happy for you. Can we still work together?"

"Bones, there is nothing that would ever make me not want to be your partner. Don't you know that? We've been partners, friends, for so long I wouldn't know how to function if that stopped. So yes, we can still work together. But Bones, I've got to know, are you sorry you said those things because you don't really mean them or are you sorry you said them because I'm with someone?"

She looks back at the reflecting pool not wanting to answer. He moves to kneel in front of her; she turns her head to look somewhere else, anywhere but at him. He places his finger under her chin and turns her head so that she's looking at him and waits. Her eyes slowly rise to his; his telling her to answer the question truthfully.

She takes a deep breath, "I meant every word Booth. I'm just sorry to hurt you again by admitting my feelings when you've moved on. I'll understand if you don't want to be my partner or my friend."

A smile creeps across his lips as he takes both of her hands in his.

"Bones, I haven't moved on. I tried to, I really did, but there is no moving on. Not when you've been in love with the same person for six years."

"I don't know what that means."

He sighs, "It means that I broke up with Hannah last night. I loved her but I wasn't in love with her. I told her as much after I dropped you at home last night."

"I'm sorry Booth."

"Bones, I've loved you since the day we met. I told you last year on the steps of the Hoover, that I "knew" right from the beginning, that I was "that" guy. When you turned me down, it broke me. I know you don't believe someone can be broken after a rejection but trust me when I tell you that I was broken."

"I know what it's like to be broken now Booth. I felt that way last night. I now know what it means."

"I'm sorry Bones. I didn't mean to hurt you, not last night, not ever. But anyway, when I told you I was "that guy" it didn't change. It didn't change when you rejected me, it didn't change when we went to separate ends of the earth. It didn't change when I met Hannah or even when she moved in with me. I'm still "that" guy Bones; the one who has loved you for the past six years and will continue to love you in 30, 40 or 50 years to come. If someone asks me tomorrow when I realized we were meant to be together the answer will always be the same, from the beginning. Because I have known since that day in the lecture hall that you were the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life loving."

"Booth, I can't promise you the rest of my life. I can't even promise you 30, 40 or 50 years. All I can promise is that I love you today with all of my metaphorical heart."

He touched his forehead to hers, "That's enough, Bones. It's more than enough." He leans in and kisses her softly on the lips. This is not a kiss of desperation as the one at the Hoover building, it's not a kiss done from bribery as the one under the mistletoe, it's not a kiss filled with tequila vapors as the one after their first case. It's a kiss of hope and promises and love. It's a kiss to put the broken pieces back together.


End file.
